Cupcake shaved his beard today and O.M.G. he is sooooooo hot. I mean, he was hot before n shit, but holy jesus h christo he is the hottest man I have ever seen.
Ladies, I’m sorry, but your husband just aint this hot.
February 11, 2010
Santa and the Discman
1993 was the year Santa made me a Sony Discman. Santa and Sony really came through that year. No longer would I be stuck rewinding and fastforwarding through those silly cassettes (and believe me I did a lot of fastforwarding. I’m looking at you Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s “Mack Daddy”. I really shoulda just gotten the single for “Baby Got Back”).
Yes, the future was now with the Discman. It was cool and sleek and featured something called Megabass. See, see for yourself.
Since the Discman wouldn’t play cassette tapes I got my very first compact discs. These compact (they’re actually rather large in retrospect) discs showed even at a young age I had taste, sophistication, and a hunger to exude hipness. See, see for yourself.
1) 
2) 
I miss Santa and my Discman.
February 10, 2010
Repeat
Ok I know I posted about this video before, but, honestly, is there a better video out there right now? I don’t think so. (Also, look how many commas I used in the last sentence – I don’t even really know how to use commas but does it really matter? Maybe? Sorta?).
February 10, 2010
The King of Pop
This just in…Michael Jackson died of a propfol overdose. Um, hi, duh. We already knew that. We also found out that he had hair tattoo, as well as eyelid, eyebrow and lip tattoo. HOT!!!
In other news Matt is asking me if he should use the store “Wet Seal” as a reference in his story thing he’s writing. Um, no! USE HOT TOPIC! Hot Topic resonates with so many more people. I mean who the feck didn’t love/hate Hot Topic? He can’t remember any of these stores, probably because he was too busy popping his collar in Ralph Lauren stores. Damn hippie.
My back hurts, the dogs are fighting, and it’s raining…which means it’s the perfect day for CUPCAKE to be in charge of making dinner! Cupcake’s specialty is that recipe on the back of Cream of Chicken soup cans. Yum. For those of you who are interested here is what we always end up eating on Cupcake’s night to make dinner (the other option is perogies from the box):
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
1 cup water *
3/4 cup uncooked rice
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (about 1 pound)
- Stir the soup, water, and rice in a 2-quart shallow baking dish. Cover the baking dish.
- Bake at 375°F. for 45 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through and the rice is tender.
Oh Lawd I love Cupcake’s dinner night.
February 5, 2010
See ya luego, Mexico.
From Cupcake’s post it seems like he had a pretty swell time in Mexico and indeed he did. He spent most of his time drinking XX, betting on sports, fawning over Lost blogs and boards (or whatever they’re called), and checking out one particular heavily tanned latina with fake books in a thong (he got smacked upside the head for that).
I, however, had a much different trip. I knitted, prayed, and played dominoes with the seniors that scattered our lovely condominium, the lovely Coral Mar. I don’t mean seniors like springbreakers, I mean SENIOR CITIZENS – and those people can ORGY.
ANYWAY – I drank many Miami Vices (piña coladas mixed with strawberry daiquiris) and Cups and I had some lovely romantic dinners together. Most moments we couldn’t stand each other but that is nothing out of the ordinary. Surprisingly, Cupcake and I travel rather well together. I think we prefer our 3-4 day weekend retreats as opposed to week long endeavors because we end up getting antsy and want for the comfort of our own home and the warmth of our tiniest angel pups.
Mexico was great, and I learned a lot from all the self-reflection I did (due to there hardly being any sun and mostly rain every day). Cookie learned to hate me more, I learned to hate myself more, but also we learned to love each other through the massive amounts of hatred and crankiness.
I know Cookie will love me forever though because I cook for him.
February 5, 2010
Adios Mexico
Tomorrow we return to our homeland and beloved pups. I’ve had quite a time on the vacation: reading, drinking, drinking, sleeping. Woogie, on the other hand, has had a markedly different experience: reading, drinking, puking, bleeding. All in all, a good trip!
When we get back we begin work on our next great endeavor: LOTTO PROBLEMS. Until then, suck it fools.
January 27, 2010
Lunch
A Burger King chicken sandwich, cheeseburger, fries, a coke and some Ghiardelli dark chocolate. Yeah I weigh more than a baby seal but I’m married bitches so it don’t matta!!!
January 27, 2010
DO NOT USE UPS
My aunt just sent me a package via UPS and someone ripped it open and stole the contents. It was very obviously stolen and not an accident.
Please, please, please if you care about what you are shipping and want it to arrive in one piece (or arrive at all) DO NOT USE UPS!!!
January 26, 2010
Face Recognition
Cupcake and I just did something online that tells us which celebrity we look most like based on a photograph of ourselves.
Woogie = Gary Oldman
Cupcake = Hillary Clinton
I would say this software is dead on.
January 26, 2010
The Gambler
Last weekend I suckered Woogie into letting me open an account with Bodog, an overseas website with malevolent intentions (namely, gambling). Since that not so fateful day, all I want to do is eat undercooked buffalo tenders and make bets. Parlays, teasers, money lines, nothing matters but the spread. Not Mrs. Cupcake, not Señor Pups, nothing.
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