Cheeseburger For Breakfast

Cupcake shaved his beard today and O.M.G. he is sooooooo hot. I mean, he was hot before n shit, but holy jesus h christo he is the hottest man I have ever seen.
Ladies, I’m sorry, but your husband just aint this hot.

Ok I know I posted about this video before, but, honestly, is there a better video out there right now? I don’t think so. (Also, look how many commas I used in the last sentence – I don’t even really know how to use commas but does it really matter? Maybe? Sorta?).
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From Cupcake’s post it seems like he had a pretty swell time in Mexico and indeed he did. He spent most of his time drinking XX, betting on sports, fawning over Lost blogs and boards (or whatever they’re called), and checking out one particular heavily tanned latina with fake books in a thong (he got [...]

A Burger King chicken sandwich, cheeseburger, fries, a coke and some Ghiardelli dark chocolate. Yeah I weigh more than a baby seal but I’m married bitches so it don’t matta!!!

My aunt just sent me a package via UPS and someone ripped it open and stole the contents. It was very obviously stolen and not an accident.
Please, please, please if you care about what you are shipping and want it to arrive in one piece (or arrive at all) DO NOT USE UPS!!!

Cupcake and I just did something online that tells us which celebrity we look most like based on a photograph of ourselves.
Woogie = Gary Oldman
Cupcake = Hillary Clinton
I would say this software is dead on.

“Please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”
- Conan “Coco” O’Brien